Do You Know Yourself?

After years of babies I find myself in a season of evaluation, figuring out what I love to do, how to best take care of myself, and how to manage my free time in a way that is fulfilling. I'm seeing this as sort of a year long project. I'm getting to know myself!

On my last birthday I turned 35.
And currently, my oldest child is 9, halfway through the years he will be under our roof - Lord willing! These are significant milestones.

In October 2017, I was impulsive and got a haircut not with my usual girl. It was bad, so overly layered. It took me 9 long months to grow it out. I'm too old for this. So I've reflected...what went wrong? How does my hair look its best? Objectively.

Now I know better, and I make regular hair appointments weeks in advance. Know thyself.

 my newest haircut that I'm very happy with

This past school year I had a day each week when all 4 of my kids were in school, the youngest going to preschool on Fridays. This gave me 3 glorious child-free hours. I thought hard...what do I love to do? How can I fill this time with activities that rejuvenate me? Truly. I discovered that I love to go on long walks. I love to eat black bean and guacamole tacos at Chipotle. I also love to meet with friends for coffee. Know thyself.

I know that I don't like to wear clothes that require a camisole underneath. I don't want to wear a shirt under my shirt! Also, I loathe rayon. I've made a deliberate effort to buy mostly 100% cotton clothes, which are difficult to find, but worth it. Know thyself.

Casually, my mom asked me where I would like to go on a trip, a real get-on-an-airplane trip. I had no idea! It's taken me months to answer this question. But after much reflection, I can confidently say I'd like to go to a big city and see Hamilton. I don't care what city. So I'm starting to brain storm a way to make this happen. Know thyself.

It's common for young mothers to lose their way in the child bearing and baby years. The way that went down in my life is that I forgot...or maybe never really had the clarity of mind to discover.....what I really like to do as an adult. But now that my youngest child is almost 3, it's a new day at our house.

This season of evaluating what I love and don't love to do has been therapeutic. And I'm still in the midst of it. Really, it's a life long quest.

To know thyself is the beginning of wisdom. - Socrates

If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.  - Anonymous

Do you know yourself?
What do you love to do?


  1. I do just really love your posts!!

    It's so important to find ourselves again because, in the scheme of our lives, we have children at home for only a short time. If we don't know who we are AND know our spouse/nurture our marriage, we fall apart when our kids leave home.

    I have, very gradually, found that I adore being at home ALONE. I want my husband and kids to go away and just let me putter around and enjoy my own space (my husband took the kids away for an entire weekend last fall - the glory and peace of that weekend carried me for a long time). I also adore visiting museums or pretty spots (gardens, parks) by myself. I love getting together with a friend to yak - even better if it's my best friend and we do handwork while we talk. I have found great help in recent years in the enneagram - getting to know myself and my marriage better.

    1. Thank you, Margo!

      I agree about tending to our marriages as well. So important.

  2. SAME!!!!!! My oldest in 7.5 and my youngest turned 3 a couple months ago. I feel like I can breath a little more after the baby rush! One thing that I love and can't live without are long runs by the river. We have beautiful trails and I NEED that time (then it's not to hot) to plug my music in my ears and just go! I'm also stretching myself to not care too much about what others thing, but do what I like and what works for me. I have a huge (awesome) beach hat that I LOVE but have never had the courage to wear at our neighborhood pool. I said "Shoot, I'm 35 now and I can wear this hat if I like it!" So I do now :) There is power with age! :)

  3. I LOVE your blog and so relate to so much of your life. Keep writing!!

    1. Thank you, Emily! I'm glad you found the freedom to wear your hat! So true - power with age!!

  4. I love this post! And I love your haircut. I'm with you on so many of those points--and rayon is the worst! Acrylic too. I've found that the early 30s have brought a lot of self-knowledge/acceptance. I'm guessing more will come when we're not in the toddler/infant trenches. I hope you will have maybe even more than one child-free morning this fall! I had two lovely ones last fall for about 6 months and then along came George, but it was a trade I didn't mind making :) I'll add to those great quotes--happy wife, happy life!

  5. Great post S.B. I've been doing the same thing (trying to figure out who I am and what I like) after retiring after 40+ years of working. It's daunting but kind of exciting too. Love the hair cut.


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