This God - His way is perfect

I saw it before the ultrasound tech said anything - there was no heartbeat.

She typed "I'm sorry" on the screen and then walked my 3 year old Laurie out of the room so I could have a few minutes alone.

At 14 weeks, we learned our baby was gone. I had zero symptoms that anything was wrong.

Our hearts are heavy.

But we know that life and death are the Lord's. We are grateful for the three beautiful children we have and the uneventful pregnancies that preceded their births. We are hopeful about the future. We are hopeful in the One who holds the future.

A couple of Sundays ago, the first line of the first hymn we sang, "O Father, You are sovereign
In all the worlds You made;" Stephen and I fought back hot tears. Later I told him I wasn't crying over the loss as much as being brought deeper into understanding God's existence, Christ's work on the cross, and His conquering of death. We grieve but we are not without hope.

This God- His way is perfect;
the word of the Lord proves true;
he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him.
Psalm 18:30 

A few resources that have meant a lot to me in these sad weeks.... 

I'm listening to Tim Keller's book Walking with God through Pain and Suffering. I got this book because I wanted to "speak good and deep truths to myself" in this season of acute grief. I recommend it to anyone.

Stephen's first cousin and his wife had an extremely similar experience as us (4th baby, late miscarriage) and he wrote a super insightful article for the Gospel Coalition blog : How to Mourn with the Parents of Stillborn and Miscarried Children. 

The Psalms. If you are hurting, pick the Psalms over Google 10 out of 10 times.

C.S. Lewis quote: Pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world. 


  1. I'm so sorry for the loss of your precious baby. I personally relate to your grief as only someone who's been through the same tragedy can. I'm so thankful that the Lord is the One who makes beauty out of dust and redeems ALL situations. Even with the waves of sadness, I have found this to be true. Just keep speaking His promises to yourself over and over. I'll be praying for yall.

  2. Oh Sarah Barry...sweet friend..praying for y'all and sending hugs. Would love to bring you a Starbucks one day. Xoxox

  3. Sarah, I am so sorry. You guys are in my prayers as you grieve. I hope that you the find peace and comfort only God can bring.

  4. I am so, so sorry to hear this. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers as you journey through this strange time. I always learn from your wisdom as you live so gracefully and fully. Wish I could give you a hug.

  5. Tears with you tonight as I read your post. Praying for you, and at the same time, finding such encouragement from your faith. Xoxo.

  6. Tears. Love to you, SB. Beautiful words from a beautiful Momma. Praying His Spirit comforts you more deeply than you ever knew before.

  7. I am so sorry for the loss of your precious baby. I too had three uneventful pregnancies that ended with healthy babies, followed by two very surprising losses. I am now expecting again, and we actually were told early on that I was miscarrying this baby, as well, which thankfully did not happen. Of course, this pregnancy has been healing, but I think most of my healing happened before it, through a time when I began to realize that the gift of life had already been given to me by God. That the existence of a child in my womb is a gift, no matter what happens later. And that my ultimate hope for my children--that they spend eternity with our Lord--was already completed for those precious souls. I hope you can find rest and peace in some of that knowledge, as well.

  8. Love you SB. Beautiful words in the midst of such pain. We are praying for you.

  9. I am so sorry to hear this SB. Praying for all of you.

  10. So sad to hear of the loss for you, Stephen, and your family. A greater depth of understanding of our mysterious and loving God is bittersweet. I pray His comfort and mercy for you during this painful time. Aunt Lauren

  11. So sorry, SB. I've been praying for you.

  12. Praying for you! I'm so sorry for your loss! ~Page Callen

  13. so sorry : ( i can relate in having 3 uneventful pregnancies in less than 3 years...so i too never expected #4 to be any different. but it was....and we (at almost 8 weeks) lost that baby too. it's encouraging to see you grieve and cling to the promises of God and our hope.....i didn't process mine so well. and really it was all more delayed with the help of some good counsel. obviously we did have another healthy baby a little over a year later. but honestly that pregnancy was so hard b/c i wrestled so much with fear and not resting in God's promises! will be thinking of you guys....Erica (Joy's friend)

  14. Oh SB. I saw your news via instagram and my heart skipped a beat. I am so sorry for your loss and I ache with and for you. I am praying for you right now. Much, much love.


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...