A Book I Loved - Design Mom

I just finished reading Gabrielle Blair's book, Design Mom. She's a blogger, mother of 6, and she writes about form meeting function in a home with kids.

I LOVED this book. I put it down feeling both validated and inspired about my home.

An issue I have in my own "decorating" is thinking - oh, this is taking too much time, money, and energy. I should be doing something more practical like making huge batches of chicken spaghetti and freezing it. Or folding laundry.

The effort it takes to make my home beautiful sometimes seems too frivolous and not deserving of my time and energy.

That being said, this book reminded me that attention to detail and thinking through of the appearance and practical use of a space, is both valuable and time worthy. Home is the back drop for which we do life. All the details add up and give the feeling of home-y-ness and beauty and enable things to run more smoothly.

In the book's intro, Gabrielle writes :

Design isn't some froufrou gloss or shiny veneer on life, its insisting on a solution (preferably an elegant one) and working carefully to make sure that solution works within whatever constraints you have - architectural, financial, or the fact that children live in your home. I know for a fact that you can use design to solve problems in your home. I've had a million (well, technically, a lot less than a million) conversations with readers and other parents about how to make their nitty-gritty, day-to-day duties more intentional, more stylish, and, dare I suggest, way easier. 

So here's a few examples of design solving solutions to problems in my home and general improvements I've been making lately.

My mom found these red stools at Kroger of all places! Now the kids eat almost every meal here except sit down family dinners. It is way easier to clean these stools and sweep the floor underneath than it is to clean under and around the tight space of the kitchen table.


....
This drawing has spent way too long in my art box. Stephen drew this picture of George in his crib with his quilt for a school assignment. I think it's the most precious thing in the world. Finally, I grabbed a cheap frame at Micheal's and hung it above George's crib.

....
In the book, Gabrielle, recommends investing in nice looking laundry baskets. She says "choose a basket you can live with when you start folding laundry in the family room and don't finish for three days."

Y'all, I was so overdue for some new laundry baskets.

I found these deep turquoise, striped fabric buckets on clearance at Target, and they make my heart so happy. I realized that the laundry baskets are as much a fixed part of the decor as our bed or the living room sofa. They are out 24/7. It is totally worth it to buy some nice looking ones. These cost the same amount as the plastic ones I almost bought a few weeks ago.

....
The book also addressed shoe storage, and I felt validated because I've got this covered. My system has stood the test of time for many months. I have this huge shoe basket close to the front door. All my children's shoes live in here. This is so much easier than returning shoes to closets 10 times a day.

....
I got a sleek looking canister to hold coffee grounds instead of the huge bag of coffee sitting out all the time. Why have I never thought of this before?! It totally changes my attitude about this coffee corner. Plus, we don't have to stick our hand way down in the bag to scoop the grounds.

....
 For the living room shelves, I finally put pictures in all the frames and de-junked the bottom shelves.

There are a few other things I'm working on in kids' rooms with book storage and toys. Also, I'm working on the new baby's tiny nursery, which is so fun!

I can't say enough good things about the book! As someone who is home the vast majority of my time, it is nice to be encouraged that aesthetics matter and also hold a practical component. Design can improve our systems and inner workings of household chores and duties, and more importantly can be a major morale booster for the whole family!

....

One last thing I love that Gabrielle Blair says, ...."there is no due date for my house (or your house) to be "done." There is no to-do list of tasks I have to accomplish right away to make sure my home is wonderful. I can implement one idea today, solve a recurring problem tomorrow, and over time create an inviting haven that makes for the best sort of family memories."

....

A couple of my other favorite design books:

The Perfectly Imperfect Home
The Nesting Place

Streamlining

When we had our 4th child, things got real. Not that they weren't real before, but adding another person + the combination of my oldest starting first grade made for a very demanding life. I now had "big" kids and little kids and a baby!

I had to get to 2 different schools during the day (preschool and big kid school). I had to wake up in the night with a newborn and set my alarm clock early to get everybody up for school. And don't even get me started on feeding all these people. The demands seemed merciless, especially those early newborn days. And honestly, it is still pretty challenging as we enter the toddler phase and the increasing homework load!

 

One day I took a step back and said what (WHAT on earth???!) can I do lighten my situation? I likened it to a business meeting, the kind where you would call your team in and discuss ways to make the company run smoother. What can we cut? What can we do better? How can we be more efficient? What can I streamline?

The list below is what I came up with...not in one sitting, but over the course of 6 months or so. This is the list I would give my younger, totally overwhelmed self. This is a similar list I gave to a friend and fellow mom of 4 not too long ago when she said "Help! Do you have any ideas? I'm drowning."

1 - hire some help

If you can afford to hire any sort of help - do it. We found a wonderful cleaning lady to come every other week. My husband said, "Let's view this expense like a utility." Re-framing it like that really helped me get over the expense. It's necessary for making our home run more smoothly.

Hired help could also be in the form of babysitting or yard work or even allowing yourself to get take out a couple nights a week without guilt.

2 - paper plates

Paper plates = less dishes to wash. I mostly use paper plates for dinner if the dishwasher is already full.

3 - auto draft your bills

If you are the family bookkeeper, you can save yourself so much time by putting your bills on auto draft. Most all utility companies and mortgage companies provide this option.This is a precious hour or two I can use for other purposes each month.

4 - Amazon subscribe and save

Dog food and diapers. Toilet paper. The things that you do not want to ever be without...sign up for a  subscription through Amazon. You will never be desperate, loading all your kids up at 5pm to go buy diapers. What a nightmare!

I especially like this for lager items because they take up so much room in the grocery cart.

5 - shoe station

Corral all your kids' shoes and put them in one spot. This way, the shoes are easy to find and it's easy for your kids to put them away.



6 - uniform basket (or church clothes or swim stuff basket)

Similar to the shoe station, keeping school uniforms or church clothes in one basket makes it so much easier to get everyone dressed! This will save you from running to all 4 corners of the house frantically searching for your son's brown belt and your daughter's navy blue leggings. It's all in one spot.

In the summer, I keep all our swim suits in one basket together, not in individual drawers and rooms.

7 - prepackaged snacks

A granola bar never hurt anyone. Embrace prepackaged snacks, especially if you have to pack school lunches - a few prepackaged items can give you so much peace. We also found that letting our kids raid the snack cabinet on the occasional Saturday morning gives the adults a little extra time to sleep. 

8 - if you have a baby, teach them to love their pack n' play

Teach your baby to spend a little time in the pack n' play each day. This is so helpful. Sometimes you need to unload the dishwasher quickly and efficiently without your 1 year old getting involved.

Just this morning, I put Caroline in her pack n' play with a puzzle while I did my make up and put some laundry away. She's 19 months old, a very active, never sitting still 19 months!

9 - quit something

There's a saying that I love "Why do today what you can throw out altogether?" Is there something you can quit, at least for a season while you're stressed, while you have 4 babies under the age of 6?

If there is something in particular that you dread and it totally frazzles you and it doesn't seem worth it - quit!

4 year old t-ball
Wednesday night church
school volunteering

It's not mandatory!

You have to put the oxygen mask on yourself first. 

One thing I quit doing was taking meals to new mom friends. Sorry new mom friends. I love you. Right now, it about kills me to take a meal to somebody. So I quit and I can take this up again when I don't have a toddler literally under my feet 24/7.

10 - Rest

Two nights ago, Stephen and I stayed up until midnight thoroughly enjoying ourselves, watching our new show.  The next day - unproductive and monster - are the two words that best described myself. I felt terrible. I had a headache. I over ate. I yelled. I was horrible, all because I did not get enough sleep.

Sleep is vital. Everything is better when you are rested. Aggressively developing good sleep habits is worth the effort! And sure, the occasional late night indulgence of TV happens. But it's not the norm.

Good sleep = better performance in parenting, in adulting, in everything!

 

How do you streamline?

I'm always looking for new ideas?

Toy Storage

The Spooner kids don't have a basement or a playroom full of toys.

We have one toy closet, 2 baskets of dress up clothes, 2 small baskets in the main living area, a toy kitchen, a dozen or so stuffed animals/dolls, several outdoor riding toys, plenty of books and games, and some crafting supplies. We also have 4 extra large stuffed animals, gifted to us by my parents with the birth of each child.

We have a huge yard and mild weather year round. I realize what an advantage this is!

That pretty much sums it up.
.....

Kids don't need tons of toys. In fact, the quality of their play is much better the less they have.

There are countless articles and research out there supporting this, but I'm speaking from my personal experience.

Without a bajillion toys...my kids are more creative, they play outside more, they read, they craft.
....

Fewer toys is for their well being, but even more so....it is for my well being.

Over the years, as we have pared down our toys, I have become a better parent!

I have become a better parent because our home is more manageable. 

I have less to pick up. Also, my children can actually play a valuable role in clean up because it's not overwhelming.

But let's keep it real...it can still get really crazy. And my kids are not always contentedly doing a puzzle with classical music playing in the background. They whine, complain, fuss, get bored. They are human.

A low point over the weekend.
.....

Here are my three nuggets of advice. This is what my 33 year old self would tell my 26 year old self....

-Don't have more toys than you can comfortably store.

-Don't have more toys than your child (or children) can reasonably clean up.

-Declutter the toys until you are not constantly irritated. You'll know when it's the right amount.

Take these tips with a grain of salt. Kids go through phases and stages. You do what works. You do your best!
.....

Here's how we store what we have...

The building toys - Legos, Magna Tiles, blocks, and trains are stored in clear plastic containers.

These containers are stored in our toy closet in Laurie's room.
 

I'm pretty conservative on my purchases of storage bins and containers. I repurpose shoe boxes, plastic ice cream tubs (the gallon size for smaller Legos), and other sturdy boxes to round up all the odds and ends that children collect.

We have one basket of girls' dress up and one boys' basket. I regularly go through and throw out torn or stained dress up clothes though I try to keep enough for a group of 4-5 friends to play and all have a costume.

This toy kitchen is mostly abused, but I'm keeping it long enough to see if Caroline will play with it.

These baskets hold the toys we keep in the teen room. I use them as a catch all if I'm doing a quick clean up and don't feel like sorting everything.

We do birthdays, Christmas, and gifts from grandparents. There are surges when we have more toys, so I will store things away or do a purge or find plenty of forgotten or broken toys that can be trashed.

There is an ebb and flow.

....

Please share, do you struggle with the amount of toys your kids have?

How do you store your toys?

Advice? Questions?